Along with being terrified/excited for my Oral Board with TFD, I have some things I need to accomplish first.
1) Study and prepare! This is not the typical interview, it is a pass/fail thing! I am pumped, because I like to think that I thrive in situations like this.
2) Get nice clothes. I need a nice suit for this, because of the whole pass/fail thing.
3) Cut my hair :( I have been growing it out for almost 16 months and I will be sad to see it go, again the whole pass/fail thing.
So here is the random question. What should I do to my hair before I cut it? It is long enough to do cool things with, so what should I do and take pictures of? Let me know!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Pendulum
Do you ever feel like your life is a pendulum and that you are swinging from one side to the other? That has been me the last few days. Through three separate events, I have been swung from one side of the emotional spectrum to the other, so I find myself in the middle once again trying to process.
I have been working a ton lately, I just finished an 8 day stretch of night shifts in a row. I was also responsible for training one of the new EST's as well. He is a great guy, Andrew, and I think that he will do very well in the ER so I really enjoyed getting to know him and working with him. On Sunday night, we had a trauma come in that was very nasty. I don't need to go into details here, but suffice it to say, it was a 17 year old kid who broke up with his girlfriend, got drunk, rolled his car and ended up dead. My streak is still alive, no one has died in my ER while I am on shift, this young man passed up in the ICU later the next day. His family was obviously very upset and distraught. I got to interact with them a little bit, but what can you say to people in this situation? I am called to be a pastor, but in times like that all you can do is pray, there are not words appropriate for that depth of sorrow and pain. In the past, I would have just let the emotions bury themselves and rationalized it by saying that is what you have to do in my line of work. There is a lot of things that I see that are sad and hard, but I am paid to be there for the people in those situations, so I have to function. This one bugged me though... I have some processing to do.
Ok, so I don't get much sleep and I go to work Monday night. We had a mother come in and deliver her baby in one of our triage rooms. This would have been a cool thing, intense, but cool if the baby had been full term. It was only 23 weeks, 3 months premature. Again to spare all the details, the baby did not survive this, despite valiant efforts from the NICU nurses and doctors. So, I haven't processed the night before and now I have this mind searing incident to process through. I will never forget the scene I walked into, never. This happened about 4:30 am and I still had 2 1/2 hours left of work. Again, I had to delay the processing of this tragedy until later.
You may be thinking, "Wow, Samuel should quit his job, that is too much!" If I leave this business, who will shine the light of Jesus in the way I am supposed to in my ER? Jesus has called me specifically to this job and provided a way for me to thrive here, despite all the hardship. So, join me in praying for the two families that experienced horrible tragedy this last weekend.
Now, most of you know that I stay up after work usually. I go to the YMCA and swim, get coffee, spend time with Jesus etc... This morning, I had arranged to hang out with Justin Wirtz (my favorite skinny 16 year old punk who hurts my back) and get coffee. We had a great time together sharing life and growing... still haven't had a lot of opportunity to process the emotional overload from the last few nights. On my way home, I am beginning to think about all this hoping to begin the process of healing, when I get a phone call that could change my life...
It was the Tacoma Fire Department asking me to continue in the hiring process. Brief overview, TFD hires every two years, if at all. 1300 people applied, 900 took a written test, 400 took a physical test that only 240 people passed. From those 240 people who passed all the elements of the testing process, I heard that 75 people got invited to interview for the job, and I think that they will hire somewhere between 20-40. You can read some of my past blogs and my thoughts from other steps in the testing process. I was asked to interview, and I have the Oral Board, as it is called, on December 19th at 9:30 am. The Oral Board consists of 4-5 ranking people within TFD and is basically you proving yourself to them in an intense fashion. They have difficult questions designed to trick you and see how much you have prepared for the interview. My job in this Oral Board is to communicate to these people, in spite of the difficulties presented to me, how well I will do in their department. This phone call is a big deal and the pendulum has now swung emotionally once again.
I now get to process 2 separate spectrums of emotions, pain & suffering : joy & anticipation.
The pendulum of life swings as the Lord wills it. In the past, I would have not thought to spend time processing all this. Now, as the Lord challenges me to be honest with myself, in every way and to do away with the facade that I put up, even to myself, I need to process this. I recognize this as a huge step in my maturity as a man, but that doesn't make it much easier.
I have been working a ton lately, I just finished an 8 day stretch of night shifts in a row. I was also responsible for training one of the new EST's as well. He is a great guy, Andrew, and I think that he will do very well in the ER so I really enjoyed getting to know him and working with him. On Sunday night, we had a trauma come in that was very nasty. I don't need to go into details here, but suffice it to say, it was a 17 year old kid who broke up with his girlfriend, got drunk, rolled his car and ended up dead. My streak is still alive, no one has died in my ER while I am on shift, this young man passed up in the ICU later the next day. His family was obviously very upset and distraught. I got to interact with them a little bit, but what can you say to people in this situation? I am called to be a pastor, but in times like that all you can do is pray, there are not words appropriate for that depth of sorrow and pain. In the past, I would have just let the emotions bury themselves and rationalized it by saying that is what you have to do in my line of work. There is a lot of things that I see that are sad and hard, but I am paid to be there for the people in those situations, so I have to function. This one bugged me though... I have some processing to do.
Ok, so I don't get much sleep and I go to work Monday night. We had a mother come in and deliver her baby in one of our triage rooms. This would have been a cool thing, intense, but cool if the baby had been full term. It was only 23 weeks, 3 months premature. Again to spare all the details, the baby did not survive this, despite valiant efforts from the NICU nurses and doctors. So, I haven't processed the night before and now I have this mind searing incident to process through. I will never forget the scene I walked into, never. This happened about 4:30 am and I still had 2 1/2 hours left of work. Again, I had to delay the processing of this tragedy until later.
You may be thinking, "Wow, Samuel should quit his job, that is too much!" If I leave this business, who will shine the light of Jesus in the way I am supposed to in my ER? Jesus has called me specifically to this job and provided a way for me to thrive here, despite all the hardship. So, join me in praying for the two families that experienced horrible tragedy this last weekend.
Jesus, I pray that You would bring Your peace and a strong sense of Your love to these two families. Cover them in Your Spirit and minster to them in the way only You can.
Now, most of you know that I stay up after work usually. I go to the YMCA and swim, get coffee, spend time with Jesus etc... This morning, I had arranged to hang out with Justin Wirtz (my favorite skinny 16 year old punk who hurts my back) and get coffee. We had a great time together sharing life and growing... still haven't had a lot of opportunity to process the emotional overload from the last few nights. On my way home, I am beginning to think about all this hoping to begin the process of healing, when I get a phone call that could change my life...
It was the Tacoma Fire Department asking me to continue in the hiring process. Brief overview, TFD hires every two years, if at all. 1300 people applied, 900 took a written test, 400 took a physical test that only 240 people passed. From those 240 people who passed all the elements of the testing process, I heard that 75 people got invited to interview for the job, and I think that they will hire somewhere between 20-40. You can read some of my past blogs and my thoughts from other steps in the testing process. I was asked to interview, and I have the Oral Board, as it is called, on December 19th at 9:30 am. The Oral Board consists of 4-5 ranking people within TFD and is basically you proving yourself to them in an intense fashion. They have difficult questions designed to trick you and see how much you have prepared for the interview. My job in this Oral Board is to communicate to these people, in spite of the difficulties presented to me, how well I will do in their department. This phone call is a big deal and the pendulum has now swung emotionally once again.
I now get to process 2 separate spectrums of emotions, pain & suffering : joy & anticipation.
The pendulum of life swings as the Lord wills it. In the past, I would have not thought to spend time processing all this. Now, as the Lord challenges me to be honest with myself, in every way and to do away with the facade that I put up, even to myself, I need to process this. I recognize this as a huge step in my maturity as a man, but that doesn't make it much easier.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
What are you thankful for?
We are approaching Thanksgiving, so I will join the parade of probably every other blog online and write about some things that I am thankful for.
1) Music. I have been writing more and more, challenging myself to expand my musical knowledge. I was planning on playing at the One Heart Open Mike tonight, but I am really not prepared so it will wait until after Turkey Day. Some friends and I got together and wrote a 80's inspired metal anthem about the wrong way to share the Love of Jesus. It's hilarious and if we ever record it I will post it for you to hear. I have also been listening to some cool stuff that is expanding my sonic landscape.
2) My job. I had my 90 day evaluation and I am considered a valued employee with a few areas that I am exceptional at. I wish I could work 12 hour shifts, just so that I could work the same hours with more days off. In order for me to get 40 hours a week, I have to work extra days. This usually means that I am working 7, 8 or 10 days in a row. That can wear on you after a little bit. I have some amazing friends at work and I look forward to getting there because of them. It is true that the people you work with make all the difference.
3) The Internet. We finally got wired at the house here, so it is nice to be able to myspace or blog or just keep up with e-mail. Seems silly, but my generation is so wired...
4) Church. I have a pastor who is willing to call me out when I need it. I was in the dumps the other week and he saw right through what was causing it, challenged me in it and provided the opportunity for me to grow. I am also going to be less busy at church now, which will be nice. I have had my hand in many areas, but I will be focusing on my LifeGroup now (shameless plug... life-line, Thursday's; 6:30; Mandolin Cafe).
5) Being single. It sucks, but I have not had another single life circumstance that has challenged me more, or forced me to grow as much. In the past, I thought I was ready for a relationship, yeah bring it on! I am just now starting to realize how much I had to learn and how short sighted I was. Being single, I get a unique perspective on marriage by watching the great marriages around me and seeing how people I love make it work. The Lord can bring my future wife to me (or vice versa) whenever He wants, but I don't want it a moment before then.
6) India. In case you haven't heard, I will be going to India with some men from church in January. The Lord is providing the way for me to go, and it is cool to see it coming together. I heard that Pastor Kaj was going to India in January and I ran out of excuses not to go. We are called as Christians to go, not offer excuses. I have never felt the call to foreign missions, I believe God has me in Tacoma now and for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't release me from going. I will post the whole testimony of how God is providing for this trip later, because it is cool and He deserves glory.
7) Savior. This is cliche, I know. But none of the other things I am thankful for would be possible without Him. There is a song that I love, Mighty to Save it talks about Jesus being Mighty to Save, and I realize that if He was just mediocre to save, I would be screwed. Thank You Jesus, that You are mighty and that You have saved me. Help me to grow in love and deepen my relationship with You.
Well, I am sure that there are many other things to be thankful for... I haven't even touched my family or close friends... that is later for sure.
1) Music. I have been writing more and more, challenging myself to expand my musical knowledge. I was planning on playing at the One Heart Open Mike tonight, but I am really not prepared so it will wait until after Turkey Day. Some friends and I got together and wrote a 80's inspired metal anthem about the wrong way to share the Love of Jesus. It's hilarious and if we ever record it I will post it for you to hear. I have also been listening to some cool stuff that is expanding my sonic landscape.
2) My job. I had my 90 day evaluation and I am considered a valued employee with a few areas that I am exceptional at. I wish I could work 12 hour shifts, just so that I could work the same hours with more days off. In order for me to get 40 hours a week, I have to work extra days. This usually means that I am working 7, 8 or 10 days in a row. That can wear on you after a little bit. I have some amazing friends at work and I look forward to getting there because of them. It is true that the people you work with make all the difference.
3) The Internet. We finally got wired at the house here, so it is nice to be able to myspace or blog or just keep up with e-mail. Seems silly, but my generation is so wired...
4) Church. I have a pastor who is willing to call me out when I need it. I was in the dumps the other week and he saw right through what was causing it, challenged me in it and provided the opportunity for me to grow. I am also going to be less busy at church now, which will be nice. I have had my hand in many areas, but I will be focusing on my LifeGroup now (shameless plug... life-line, Thursday's; 6:30; Mandolin Cafe).
5) Being single. It sucks, but I have not had another single life circumstance that has challenged me more, or forced me to grow as much. In the past, I thought I was ready for a relationship, yeah bring it on! I am just now starting to realize how much I had to learn and how short sighted I was. Being single, I get a unique perspective on marriage by watching the great marriages around me and seeing how people I love make it work. The Lord can bring my future wife to me (or vice versa) whenever He wants, but I don't want it a moment before then.
6) India. In case you haven't heard, I will be going to India with some men from church in January. The Lord is providing the way for me to go, and it is cool to see it coming together. I heard that Pastor Kaj was going to India in January and I ran out of excuses not to go. We are called as Christians to go, not offer excuses. I have never felt the call to foreign missions, I believe God has me in Tacoma now and for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't release me from going. I will post the whole testimony of how God is providing for this trip later, because it is cool and He deserves glory.
7) Savior. This is cliche, I know. But none of the other things I am thankful for would be possible without Him. There is a song that I love, Mighty to Save it talks about Jesus being Mighty to Save, and I realize that if He was just mediocre to save, I would be screwed. Thank You Jesus, that You are mighty and that You have saved me. Help me to grow in love and deepen my relationship with You.
Well, I am sure that there are many other things to be thankful for... I haven't even touched my family or close friends... that is later for sure.
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