Jobs and such,

So, I love it when God takes something you did on an off-chance and turns it in to something very cool. On an off-chance, I turned in an application to the Tacoma General Emergency Room, for an Emergency Services Technician job. This is the job I had before and this job is the reason I am currently pursuing recertification as an EMT. That was the off-chance. I also applied for 4 other jobs at TG as well, most of which I was qualified for. So the only call back I received was for the ER position, the one position I don't have the proper certifications for.

I get to interview for my old job with TG Wednesday morning at 9 am. The job that I wasn't qualified for and applied for on an off-chance. I asked the lady that called to set up the appointment if I needed to have a current EMT certification and she said "technically" but that the hiring manager remembered me and how well I had done in the ER when I worked there previously and wanted me to interview.

I feel good about going in there tomorrow and interviewing because I truly feel that God has set this up. I remember when I was laid off from pressure washing, I felt so strongly that God was going to give me something equal to or greater than that job. He is in the process of providing once again, as this job is a much better wage than what I was making before and there are always hours available, especially during the summer. It was such a joy to share that with the morning prayer group at church, because we had really sought the Lord for a miracle in this situation and it always feels good to rejoice over a miracle.

A verse that I ran across the other night before bed was Psalm 37:25

I once was young and now I am old
Yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
Or their children begging for bread

As some of you know, living off of faith is not easy. It is hard not to look at the circumstances and wonder how they are going to change or the better question, when? But as David says in this Psalm, during his entire life, he had never seen the righteous (those that put God first) forsaken and their family was always taken care of. Right now, the family I provide for consists of me. I hope it expands someday, but even this small "family" of one is not to small for God to provide for in a supernatural way.

Depending on the interview tomorrow, I need to decide if I am to continue pursuing my EMT recertification. I will need to do it eventually I think, but it might be better to push it to Fall quarter when I can afford it better.

I can't wait to post tomorrow and share how the interview went and (this would be a dream come true) when I can start working there.

Tacoma Fire

Just so you all know, I am taking the test for the City of Tacoma Fire Department this Tuesday morning. Me and about 1500 other people will be crammed into the Tacoma Dome exhibition hall taking a test. I heard that they may hire as many as 15 people from this batch so the odds may still not be good, but they are better than normal.

I got the study guide for the test and every question on the test will be from the study guide, so it will pay to study. There are 5 sections to the study guide, so 5 sections to the test; Fire Chemistry, Tools & Equipment, Homeland Security, Emergency Medical Technician and Standard Operating Procedures. Some of the material is out of date, but the test is not necessarily about firefighting knowledge... it is more about how well I can absorb and study the material and show that on a test. I am pretty excited.

Is this the big thing God has just around the corner for me? I don't know, but it would be cool. I have a feeling that there is more in store for me soon than just a job. This is the kind of application process that I would be foolish to put all my hopes in, so I applied for 5 different jobs at Tacoma General. All would meet my needs, but some would be cooler than others. I am also enrolled in the EMT class this summer at TCC so that I can potentially work in the ER again.

So, the dilemma I have, and it is not a big one, is the EMT class this summer. Because of the nature of the class and the time commitment involved, I won't be able to be staff for the Aberdeen Go Camp and be a part of their outreach to Montana. I will also have to arrange class time to miss for the Go Camp PSCC is doing this summer... All of this is doable, it is just that I would love to focus on doing fun things like Go Camps and outreach all summer, instead of taking classes again in order to get good employment. So the dilemma I have is me wanting to put all my hope in a job with TFD or at the TG in the least, so that I can bow out of the EMT class and go to Montana. This would not be wise, and thank goodness I have submitted myself under authority and I allow them to tell me things. Mark told me that I will be a lot happier after the EMT class because I put the time in and am working at a great job for me.

I will also get a chance to meet and hang out with some cool people this summer in a class like this. Most people in Emergency Services have a very specific mentality, sometimes very interesting. My story with this mentality goes hand in hand with my testimony. I was convinced that I could handle anything, I had seen things that no normal human being should experience and I was still relatively sane. I learned to trust in my own ability and began to see the world as a place where I was solely responsible for making it happen for me in my life. If things didn't go my way, I got frustrated, mad and usually hurt people around me. The typical way for me to deal with emotion involved burying it so deep within me that no one would ever see it.

I am so glad that Jesus freed me from this mentality. The healthiest thing I ever did was to allow my heart to start feeling again. Yes, there is pain and trouble, but the overwhelming joy and love from Jesus Himself far outweighs any of this. Working again in this field will be hard, I will have to learn new ways of processing emotions instead of relying on my own strength and burying them.

Jesus has a plan and until I hear otherwise from the Holy Spirit and the men I am submitted to, I am looking forward to testing with TFD, getting my EMT back and potentially working in the Hospital again.

Walking on Water

So it has been over a month since I last posted on here. Sorry... Needless to say, a lot has happened in a month. This leads me right to the question, "What have I been doing for the last month?"

I have had friends leave, mostly good and a few bad.
I have worked jobs and am now unemployed.
I have moved into a new house and now it is infested with ants.
I have started riding a bike because gas is so expensive.
I have been writing songs and sometimes singing them.
I have come to realize that life really is a choice.

Isn't it funny how we pray sometimes and ask the Lord for things, and we are thunderstruck when he actually does what we asked? I remember specifically asking the Lord to bring to a place of Faith where if I don't hear correctly from Him, then I will not make it. Isn't it funny how He answers prayer. Now I find myself unemployed, and not sure what to make of life. If you want the whole story of my job woes, you can call me... it doesn't seem right to post it all here. I have rent, student loans, credit cards, medical bills from last falls neck injury and it seems like a thousand other little expenses. I know that the Lord is asking me to be faithful in my finances, AMEN!!! I love tithing and giving to the Lord, the only hindrance has been my laziness. But in this season of unemployment, this feels a bit different.

If we look at the story of Peter walking on water in Matthew 14:25-32 I think that is kind of where I am at right now. In the middle of a storm, in the middle of the night (in the midst of all my problems) Jesus is walking toward me.

I imagine the scene was something to behold, 12 guys straining at oars trying to keep a boat afloat and make it to the other side. All of a sudden, they see this guy walking on water toward them. All the other guys in the boat were saying things like...

"Dude, I think that's Jesus!"
"Yeah, it kind of looks like Him."
"Wait, how is He walking on water?"
"It must be His ghost!"

But not Peter. Peter may have doubted that it was Jesus, so he tries to convince his buddies that it is not Jesus, "Lord, if it's You, tell me to come out there." Peter didn't think that this God of Love would tell him to get out of a boat in the middle of a storm in the middle of the night and risk his life. Of course it was Jesus, so Peter ends up having to leave the boat and walk (on water) towards Jesus. Peter was wrong, this God of Love did call him to risk his life and step out of the boat and watch as He blew away his expectations of who God is.

The miracle here would have been for Peter to survive swimming in the lake in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm. I think that was what Peter was expecting to do, to swim out to Jesus trusting that the Son of God wouldn't let him drown. That was probably a big step for Peter, trusting that God wouldn't fail him, but Peter still wanted God to meet him in his own strength. Peter was a good swimmer, he had been raised on the water and made his living as a fisherman, so swimming was second only to walking. By swimming, Peter is compromising a little, God can use me, as long as he uses my strengths. Peter probably could have made it to Jesus by swimming, strong fisherman that he was, but that is not what Jesus wanted. So in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm, Peter finds himself walking on water, something that he never could have dreamed of.

I think that Jesus illustrates how when we step out of our boat, we shouldn't be surprised when the miracle we get turns out to be different than the one we were looking for. Peter thought that he was going to swim and meet Jesus, using his strength and God's help. All of a sudden, he is walking on water going toward the one "who treads upon the waves of the sea" (Job 9:8) What a difference, relying on God's strength and not our own.

After all this, to apply it to my situation... I am facing a storm. I love what one of the commentaries that I read said about this passage
"Though the wind was contrary, and they were tossed with waves, yet being ordered by their Master to the other side, they did not tack about and come back again, but made the best of their way forward. Note, Though troubles and difficulties may disturb us in our duty, they must not drive us from it; but through the midst of them we must press forwards."
The disciples had been directed by Jesus to go out into the lake, and they had even been given a direction, but then they ran into a storm. God told me and directed me to work in the jobs that I had, and now I find myself without them. I am not questioning God, I am looking forward to what He is going to do to replace them. God gives and takes away. AMEN!!!

I have a funny feeling that there is something that God is freeing me up to be able to do here shortly. I have no idea what it is and every time I try to speculate, I get the Holy Spirit telling me not to try and guess. So here I am, at that place of faith where if I don't hear and follow God correctly, I may drown... no matter how strong a swimmer I am.

On Softball and other things...

Before I forget, the PSCC Men's Softball team is in first place of the Gold church league. This is the highest league we can play in and we are more than just getting by in this league. It is so much fun to compete again, and the guys on the team are phenomenal men!

Long story, but last night at our game, Wes and I were warming up and Wes threw a ball that went right over my head. I turned and trotted after it, not realizing that my truck key, which had broken off of my key chain a week ago and has yet to be fixed, fell out of my warm up coat pocket. I am completely oblivious to this development, and the game starts and we won because of the 12 run lead mercy rule in the 5th inning. I am walking to my truck to go home to my new place (SHWB) and I realize I don't have a key for my truck... It is now 9:30 at night and I am stuck without a key. Anto and Jenae had come to the game and they helped me go and look for my key out on the field, but it was dark and the attendant had to turn the lights off. Next bright idea was to break into my truck (it can be done, but I won't tell you how) and see if I could use another Ford key to get the ignition lock undone to start the engine and drive home! Not happening, all we ended up with was a truck with the alarm going off and my realization that being a car thief is not my strong suit. Anto and Jenae drove me home and I got a ride to the field this morning from Warren, and I was able (after about an hour of looking) to find my little key in a large field of grass.

All that to say, I get to share a devotional time next week after our softball game and I am pretty sure what I am going to share on... The requirement that we have for devotional is that it needs to come from the book of Proverbs. I love how Proverbs is always talking about wisdom, and how we are to search for it. Kind of like searching for a missing key to a truck. Sometimes, you need some friends to help you find it and you might not see it right away and may have to come back the next day to look some more.

Right on... if you want to come out and support the 1st place PSCC Men's Softball Team, we play at the SERA fields (right behind PSCC) at 6 pm. Come prepared to cheer and chant and hoot and holler and everything else a rabid fan does.

As mentioned above, I am now moved in to the South Side Home for Wayward Boys (SHWB). Warren Angus and I are the founding members and if you want to donate to the cause we are accepting beds, dressers, garbage cans, couches, chairs, TV stands, new carpet, pots and pans among other things. You can get the full list by calling me or visiting us sometime (762 99th St S, Turn onto 99 off of Park and second house on the left is ours) The place needs a lot of work, which is why I like it. There are plenty of projects to keep Warren and me busy (maybe even cheapen the rent a little as we trade work for rent!) I will be throwing a housewarming party here, maybe next weekend (I need some time to clean up the house and yard), stay tuned for details...

I promise to post more often now.

SHWB

It has been almost a month since I posted on here... wow, sorry about that! I know that I talk with most of my readers in person and I really value those conversations, but there is something abot blogging that is wonderful for the heart and soul.

Quick update on life, I am not in collections by the Grace of God and I have a wonderful job. I will be moving into and founding the Southside Home for Wayward Boys (SHWB), probably on April 18th... the house is on 99th and Yakima (very close to PLU) and yes, I will host another renowned get together for all of you to help me christen the house! It will be a load of fun. I will be living with Warren Angus and Jason Dupea, so the interesting times will abound, and I look forward to all of them!

Last weekend really brought some great things to light in my heart... I am very good at performing. I spent more time focusing on details and little things about the Ressurection Weekend that I missed opportunities to worship my Savior and enjoy His presence. I missed out, and that is painful, but God is good and He knows how to restore all things to a right place. He has been challenging me to worship Him without thinking about leading worship and to really pour out myself before Him. I want my worship to be like the sinful woman who annointed the feet of Jesus and really ministered to Him. She was able to bless Him because of her extreme level of brokennes and a willingness to pour out her most expensive posession (herself really) before Him. "In light of His great mercy, I urge you to offer yourselves to God as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him" Romans 12:1 (paraphrased)

I also realized how cool you all really are! I mean, you have not really drifted away from me and we are all still friends. Thanks for being faithful to me and enduring all the changing that was going on inside me.

Anto Marin and I have been getting together to write songs, which has been very fruitful for both of us. I remember when we went to Aberdeen on an Ignite retreat and Jenae would talk to him on the phone, little did I know that we would be friends soon enough... maybe if you are lucky and ask, I will play some of them for you. We are still in the writing stage, but eventually we will get to making a demo and maybe even playing live... wouldn't that be a hoot.

right on... I will see you all later!

Money (say it moan-ey)

I love dealing with my finances... it always brings me some great joy and pleasure. In a sense I am not being facetious about that. I am in such desperate need of God to touch my financial life, and He is!!! I have work to do, but God has sustained me this far! I got to talk with my Mom today about some of this stuff and she expressed her worry about me because of me, "being under a huge rock and burden" because of my finances. Being able to tell her that my God is bigger than any financial burden was so cool!

I have had to humble myself, admit I don't know what I am doing (and for those of you who know me well, you know that this is not easy for me to do!) and actively look for guidance and counsel that will get me some good solutions. God is really coming through. Wait... lets think about this for a second. HE ALWAYS COMES THROUGH!!!

Today is a big day for me. I have two interviews today. My first one was this morning. It was at the Fred Meyer store in Sumner and after only 15 minutes of meeting with me, the manager offered me the job as a cashier in the store. I told her that I would get back to her by Wednesday and tell her if this would work for me or not. The job would pay $9.37/ hour and is guranteed for 20 hours per week. Tonight, I interview at the Forza coffee shop on Steele St. near PLU. This job would be a little better fit for me I think, as I am planning on moving into Tacoma soon. If that store can build a good customer base and begin to attract PLU students and the like, I can see myself making a good deal more at Forza than at Fred Meyer. Or maybe I can work both jobs. Both would be part time so between the two, I could have full time employment, with a third job essentially at PSCC...

After all this time by myself, I am beginning to exit the time of introspection and un-employment and I am embarking on the adventure of life after college for real. I am excited about it. I know that I have a guranteed job in Sumner, but I won't be living in Sumner any longer than I have to.

My Grandpa comes back from Yuma, AZ on April 12th, so I believe it is wise to move out of his place before then... I have been talking to the Dupea family about what moving into their rental house would look like and I am excited about the prospects. Mark Wolbert has already named the house, "The Southside Home for Wayward Boys" I love that name, it has a nice ring to it, don't you think? I would be moving in with Jason Dupea and Warren Angus for sure, and Warren has a few friends that might be interested in moving in as well. Between the three of us, I know it would be quite the mix of people and I know that God would stretch me a ton!

Once again my life is changing, but this time I am open and looking forward to the change. I have enjoyed this last period of time, but it is time to move on as well. I will always remember the lessons God has taught me during this time, and you all know that I am a different person than I was when I was at PLU... that won't change. My life will look different next week. It excites me!

Completely off subject, but I am beginning to become addicted to an author, Ted Dekker. You should check him out. He is a Christian suspense/thriller writer and it is hard to put his books down.

New Music

With all this free time I have been having, I have also been writing and playing music more and more. I LOVE IT!!!

Anto has been sending me some of his stuff to look over and play along with so that we can go and make some demos when he gets back from Spain next week. It is really cool!!! Anto is a great song writer, especially since English is his second language, and the themes of his songs are so good and true. I look forward to collaborating with him more in the future and writing stuff.

On another related note, my Dad has been sending me all this wonderful audio production stuff. He is really helping me to fill in some empty holes in my knowledge of audio and production in general. When I was helping Harrison with his school project, my Dad came and listened to it and was able to really give me some amazing pointers and in fact, he saved the project and made it sound good!!! It was so cool to have him come and teach me the stuff instead of just watching him do it. A really cool facet of our relationship has opened up because I have started doing some of this stuff, we now have another thing in common that we really didn't share before.

On less related notes... I have an interview with Fred Meyer in Sumner this Monday for a checkstand position. I have heard rave reviews from people who have worked there in the past (Cori Boyt) and I have lots of experience with the checkstand. I don't know if I will be taking this job because I am hoping to move to Tacoma within the next couple of weeks. Maybe I could talk to them about submitting my application to another Fred Meyer store in the Tacoma area... I am also applying at Starbucks, the question is which ones should I apply at? Oh well.

Life is good! I had a great time this weekend with a lot of the ReWire guys. They came over to my house and we did stupid guy stuff. If you are male you understand and if you are female, you don't want to know anyways. Some of it was caught on camera and the footage, while poor, is funny in places... or maybe it was 5 am when we watched it?!!?!? Not to sure right now.

I probable should write about my new responsibilities at church. While they are small, I love having them. It is nice to be tasked with something and asked to run with it. More on that later though...

The joy and curse of free time.

I have been really grateful for the amount of free time that I have had lately... For the most part, it has been really good for me. I don't have internet or TV at my house, so many tempting distractions are not present. I have myself. Not much else. Just me, my Bible, a guitar and Jesus. Oh, sure, I will do other things, like go into Tacoma and goof off at Church, but for the most part, I am getting comfortable with being alone.

Here is the scary part. It is really good for me to be alone!

So much of the things I do are motivated out of a fear of being alone and not having people around me. This is weird, because for most of my life, I prided myself on not needing anyone else to help me...

I am realizing woundings and areas of my heart that need a touch from God and I am getting better at allowing Him in there to do the work He needs to. I am not seeing much obvious fruit from some of this, but I know that my heart is in a much better place now than it has ever been. I have more joy and peace. I stress out about stuff less and it is much easier to enjoy the presence of the Lord than it has been in quite a while.

I have also been writing songs. If you are lucky, I may share them with you, but I may keep a lid on them for a little bit and let the song seep into my spirit (also to let me perfect the songs a bit). Sometimes, a good thing can be ruined by sharing it too early with other people. Anto and I have begun the process of collaboration and I am really enjoying working with him. I just wish that I could go to Spain with him this weekend! Maybe I will go there with Janae and him in May. I need to get a Passport!!!

The curse of free time is that it means I still don't have a job. I am in the process of testing for the Pierce County Sheriff's Department, but if I had my way, I would magically be made a Paramedic and hit the streets tomorrow. I will know if I get a job with PCSD well before I finish my EMT recertification class, so I am presented with a choice. If I get offered a job with PCSD, do I take it or hold out for a possible chance at Mary Bridge and eventually (hopefully) a paramedic's job. I would start with PCSD at 22+ an hour ($50,000) a year!!! Dinner would be on me if I got a job like that!!!

I love my free time due to no job, but I would like to take this season of loan defferment and build a financial base for my future... get out of debt... save up some money for a rainy day... save up for the toys I want (Taylor, MacBook Pro, house eventually, trip to Spain...)

Oh, the pressures of life... Just Kidding! I still have a roof over my head, food in my belly (at this moment too much), gas in my truck, some money in the bank, my health, great friends, close confidants, parents who love me (may not understand me but they do love me!), a hope and a future and most importantly, a God who sees me as His beloved son... what more could a guy want!!!

Shout out to Joy for her new page! Keep up the good work and frequent posts!

Great Books

One of the benefits of living by myself and having a much reduced schedule is that I get to read more and do other things that I used to love doing, like sit around and be lazy!!! Oh well...

I recomend "The Normal Christian Worker" by Watchman Nee. I just finished it... it is a great account of what a servant of God should be like, how they should be tempered and how they should respond to dfferent challenges and situations, from scripture. Great read, it has really taught me a lot of what it will take to be a pastor and the attitudes that I should have toward my self, the church and my role within the church.

The other bok that I am reading right now is a book by John Eldridge, "The Way of the Wild Heart" It is a sequal of sorts to "Wild at Heart" and it really tackles some of he deepest roots in a mans heart... great read and I will tell you all more about it as I read more of it.

Health

Well... isn't it funny how sometimes you don't realize something is bad for you until it is gone? That has been the story of my life the past few days, pushing almost a week now. PLU will always be a high point of my life, but it won't be THE high point of my life. I realized that there were some things at PLU that were in my life and were causing me to make unhealthy choices. Now that I am away from PLU and some space has been allowed into my life and some relationships, I can honestly look back and begin to make changes. I know that I have talked to most of you who read this in person, but I want to put it down in words for real.

What started off this whole journey back to health was the realization of how much I try and do or how hard I will work to be comfortable. Most of my relationships bring me a measure of comfort, so to change most of them in the space of one weekend (me moving to Sumner) was hard to do. I have had to challenge myself to find my comfort in the Lord, and in Him alone.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.

This verse has really been speaking to me... lots. All about how discomfort is always a gain for someone. In my particular case, the gain will be for me; I will get more out of this season of discomfort than many other seasons of my life. Discomfort always leads to comfort, because God is a merciful and loving Father who delights in His childdren and will never give them more than they can handle. I know this, but sometimes it is hard to accept.

Another facet of my heart that the Lord is unlocking right now is my hope for the future. When you are in my position, you get the priveledge of hearing people say things like, "Wow, you will look back on this in five years and laugh" or my all time favorite, "You have such a great calling and annointing to do _____!" Me in my impatience would usually smile politely and then vent to the nearest available person who understood (Emily Hockert, who is a miracle worker). What the Lord has been showing me is that I am not to despise the hope set before me.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us throw aside any encumberance and the sin which so easily entangles and let us run with endurance the race set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Jesus only did what He did here on earth so that He could enjoy an eternity with us, His bride. When I look at the discomfort around me, I don't need to complain and tell anyone who will listen that it is not fair. I don't need to go looking for things that indicate that people are against me and then show them off like I am proud of them. I can choose my attitude, even in this. I will do what I have always done with spiritual things, run.

I will run right at it. I know that God has big, no huge things in store for me, and if a little discomfort and a lot of growing is what it takes to walk in those things eventually... I will run right at it and endure, fixing my eyes on Jesus and waiting for the promises that God has given me to come about, not by my doing, but allowing Him to do it in His perfect time.

So, my prayer for myself is simple... I want to know Your love and comfort, I want to experience it at my deepest core and allow this life changing knowledge to complete me in ways I never knew were possible.

Once that happens, I won't even be able to think about comfort... it will just be.

Richland, WA

I am taking a mini-vacation from everything... so I am now in Richland, WA (one of the Tri-Cities) and I am hanging out with my Dad for a few days. It is really great because I have nothing to do, no responsibilities to people or any obligations that I need to fulfil. I have free reign to just vegetate, spend time with Jesus and make music.

If you have myspace, you should check out my brother Timothy's page. He is my number one, and he left a comment telling me that he got saved yesterday!!!
I am slightly confused, because I thought he was saved already and that he know's the Lord, so him telling me he got saved... I just need more information, that is all. Maybe he got baptized in Holy Spirit, that would be cool.

I am going to play with ProTools now... I will try and keep up with e-mail and myspace and stuff, no I know that I will because I have nothing pending that would keep me from them!

Sumner here I come...

I am moving to Sumner, sometime on Saturday after I get my room all packed up. I am not to sure how I feel about it, but the price is right and I hope to be working out there as well at either Costco or REI so the commute to work is good.

The reason that I have pause about moving to Sumner is because all my friends and church stuff I do is in Tacoma... a long ways from Sumner. I guess that I will put more miles on my truck than I want to beause all the things in Tacoma that I love are really worth it to me.

Hopefully, I will not be living out there for too long, because I would love to work either for Pierce County Sheriff's Department or for an Ambulance company. In order to work for an Ambulance company, I would need to recertify as an EMT. This would require me to audit some of the EMT classes offered at TCC, in Tacoma (a long ways from Sumner). Once I recertify, I can call up Mary Bridge Childrens Hospital and ask them if there are any positions available to me, or even apply to Tacoma General again and hopefully restart my career in the ER. I would also like to get hired with an Ambulance company, or someone that would eventually let me go through Paramedic training. Working as a Paramedic would give me so many options and advantages...
1) I would be able to fulfil a dream I have had since High School and be able to help people in the ultimate of dire emergency situations.
2) I could work in the ER as a Paramedic and basically do the same jobs Nurses do, with some restrictions of course.
3) The real reason I ever pursued medicine in the first place was to be able to go overseas and help impovrished nations by providing health care. This is a great way to get into areas of the world that have not heard the Gospel message of Jesus Christ!
4) I have always had a strange fascination with knowing what to do and being able to keep my head when people around me start to panic. Maybe it is a power trip, but I like to think of it as a gifting.

If none of this works out or if God leads otherwise, I can always try my hand at being a Sheriff's Deputy and patrol the parts of Pierce County that are not Tacoma. Don't get me wrong, I would like that too, it would just be much different.

So, as for now, I will be living in Sumner. It will be great because I won't be paying rent because it is a house that my Grandpa owns and uses as storage for stuff. Sumner is a nice town and a good area, it is just really far away from Tacoma.

Life after PLU

I am sitting in the library with Chase and we are both looking for jobs and applying for them... It is kind of fun, but not really. I think that I would rather poke my eyes out with sharp, infected sticks than go through the "fun" of filling out another online application.

I need to move out of my room this weekend. I am still undecided as to where, but that needs to be figured out soon. My Grandpa has said that he would let me stay in one of his unoccupied houses in Sumner for free. This would be awesome, but it is in Sumner. I drove around there the other day and I got the distinc impression that I am called to Tacoma, not Sumner. I hope to find a place to live in Tacoma soon, there is some hope, it just needs to happen.

Chase and I also went shopping yesterday and I spent $95 on much needed new clothes. I am very happy because I got a pair of jeans, 3 pairs of shoes and a cool flannel shirt, all for under $100!!! I am proud of myself a little bit.

As for the job search... I dunno. There are some cool places that I could work, but it is hard to apply for them sometimes. I am in the process of applying at Pierce County Sheriff, so if I get that job in 4-6 months, I would be leaving any job that I would get now, so it is hard to say I will be there for a long time when I hope that I am not going to be... entiendas? I hope so, because I don't sometimes.

Burn Out...

One of the few problems with being a Man on Fire, is that you can burn out sometimes. I am not talking about God or anything, but I am ready to be done with Campus Safety. I do not have much desire to work anymore and the only thing that motivates me anymore is working with cool people and the fact that I am done in less than two weeks. What is next after that... I still dunno.

Here is a random thought for you... You know how the Bible says that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) but I never really understood that. I know that sin is bad and that it is bad for you, but for some reason it never just clicked for me. I was thinking about this the other day when I had an impression. It was my life back before I came into personal relationship with Jesus. I was an angry, frustrated, power hungry, driven and forceful person that was never good enough for anything. The Lord showed me that my past life was my form of death. I may not die right away from a specific sin or any other falling short of God's Glory (Romans 3:23) but I will suffer spiritual death.

Much like the human body, I think that we can suffer death and still be ok otherwise. Everday, millions, even billions of cells die and are recycled or discarded within a human body. If the body does not have the ability to clear out the dead stuff, the entire body will die. I was thinking about this and maybe this can apply to my spiritual life as well. Everyday I sin, everyday... So the dead stuff in my spirit needs to be removed every day, and often. I don't want the spiritual death to build up in my spirit, so I need to use God's gracious gift of repentance to clear out the gunk. This is a natural process that should require little outside help, beyond the potty training we receive as kids.

Sometimes, spiritual death can be little, a few cells dieing in the natural course of life, but other times there can be a debilitating injury that requires special intervention by a trained professional. This is where the act of confession comes in. A person who we trust to be able to help us, a mentor or a pastor or even some really good friends, is able to heal us by hearing our confession (James 5:16) and praying with us. In this function, massive healing is able to occur to our spirit and we are able to become whole again in ways we did not think possible...

I like this analogy, it has to do with medicine!!! I hope it makes sense and that no one thinks I am preaching excessively...

What am I going to write about today?

I wonder, what I should tell you dear readers about today... I know that not many of you read this who don't see me almost everday and that you all know the stuff going on, but writing here is a real cathartic release for me and I really enjoy it. So what do you want to know about... I wonder, what are the questions burning in your mind for Samuel to answer?

As far as my future goes... I HAVE NO IDEA!!! I have kicked around some ideas, but they are all different and sometimes they don't seem to add up too well. What if I were to get into Law Enforcement? I think that I would make a good police officer, but do I really want to do that? I would rather work for a Fire Department or an Ambulance company but those jobs are few and far between with oogles of applicants that I would have to beat out for the job.

Pastor Lance told me that he could hook me up at the Costco distribution center in Sumner, so I think that would be a good opportunity for me. I could use that as a stable job and then apply myself to doing other things, like getting my EMT and going to work at Mary Bridge or applying and testing for Fire Service jobs. Maybe that would be the best course... but God is up to something big right now and I want to be along for the ride!!!

Pastor Lance has begun to take me under his wing and mentor me in a real way. Mark will always be my mentor in life, he will always be my spiritual father and never be replaced in my heart, but Lance is my ministry mentor. I am excited to learn from him and hang out with him. He asked me if it was ok to call me and drag me along on stuff that he is doing, so this is an opportunity to grow significantly in my ministry experience and to "learn the ropes" as it were.

Campus Safety is good, but I am ROAD right now. One of my supervisors, who served in the Air Force told me about that, he said that I am Retired On Active Duty; my replacement has been trained and I am just counting the days until I am done. 40 hours a week of the same thing can get monotonous (understatement of the year) but I only have 2 1/2 weeks left so I will press on. I like my job and the people I work with, but I am at the place where I need to be promoted or move out and I am moving out soon! I will miss the ability to go places on campus that most people have never seen or knew existed... I can honestly say that I have been in every single building on campus, sometimes for legitimate reasons.

I would like to study music in a way. I watched the Producers with some friends today and I have fallen in love with musicals! I realize how little I know about music and how much it doesn't make sense to me sometimes. I know the basics, and I am getting better at reading it on a sheet, but I don't know it very well. It is something I love and because of that, I desire to understand it. Why does a certain chord progression work vs. another or what about this melodic line makes it stand out. What do I have to do to this chord to make it a diminished or even a minor? I love music and performing music, but I am limited by my lack of knowledge. I also want to produce and arrange music and a thorough knowledge of what is going on in the song is essential to that.

Part of thinking about this comes from a meeting I had with Anto Marin. He is a friend, who is married to my friend Jenae who graduated with me in December. He has a bunch of songs written and he wants to sit down with me and arrange them and get them ready to record. I love the idea of going into the studio with him, but I am woefully unprepared. I can hear things in my head, but expressing them is another thing altogether; and we are not even getting to my lack of experience in studio recording! My Dad has done it for years and even has his own home studio, but I never took the time to learn from him. This was mostly due to his method of teaching, a lot of watching and little explanation or experience, but I look back and wish that I had got more out of that then I did. Oh well...

This turned out to be longer than I expected...

Mary Bridge

I was hoping to be able to write a long post about how I got this great job at Mary Bridge Childrens Hospital and how I knew it was a God thing and how my life was going to be great after January.

Unfortunately I cannot do that. I found out yesterday that I will not be able to work at MB because I do not have a current EMT license. I am kind of frustrated because I could have worked harder at maintaining my certification and I am now reaping the reward of my laziness. But I know that where God closes doors (and this was a big door and looked great!) He will sometimes open windows, or even a better door!

The Nurse Manager I was talking to at Mary Bridge seemed very impressed with me because of the glowing reviews I got from my references (note to self, put their checks in the mail) and my background. He said that if I get my EMT reinstated soon to call and that they would find me an on-call position. I can still work at Mary Bridge, but not until I get my EMT back.

I can hear your next question, "What will it take to get your EMT back?" Great question and I have been working hard at figuring that out. I made contact with a lady in the Pierce County EMS office and she has given me a list of subjects that I need to pass in order to receritfy. I am hoping to be able to audit the EMT class at TCC that they are currently offering so that I can get those class hours and then pass the EMT Final. I cannot just sit for the EMT test again like I was hoping, but this is the next best thing. I will also need to find a Fire Depatment or Ambulance company to maintain my EMT certification. I would be able to go back to Vashon Fire, but I don't want to live on Vashon and finding time to be on the Island is hard... It might be a good thing though, because the Chief of VIFR was a real mentor to me when I really needed it during High School. I should call him again!

Long story short, I am back to being homeless and jobless in February, but God dosen't care about that. God wants me to worry about it as much as He does, and He has a plan already layed out for February... I just need to walk in it.

A Man on Fire...

This new name seems to fit me very well...

I love Firefighting, such a rush and so much fun! I love the pressure of performing a skill perfectly with peoples lives on the line... call me weird if you want to. I have very fond memories of training with Vashon Fire and getting my helmet melted in some of the training fires we did because it was so hot. How many people can say that they have been into a burning building? I can!

One of my favorite movies of all time is Man on Fire, starring Denzel Wahington and directed by Ridley Scott. It is a very graphic and intense protrayal of a bodyguards revenge on the people who kidnapped his charge. It ends with a very cool ending full of sacrifice and reunion. Not for the faint of heart, but a great movie.

I just finished reading a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala, Pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle. He writes an amazing and true story about how the power of prayer can transform a church. He very eloquently states the current starvation in the American Church due to lack of prayer and issues a bold call to wake up!

My favorite holiday is the 4th of July (shout out to all the cool people who came to Vashon for the last one, that trip will live in my memory for a long time!) The reason I love this holiday so much is because I get to light of Fireworks! I love seeing the hard earned money of people go up in smoke, oh but what cool and pretty smoke it is!

My favorite song in High School was Fireproof by Pillar. I thought it was the coolest thing ever! It really helped me to get through some things knowing that I was Fireproof in the eternal sense. I am very grateful that I know Jesus in a better way now than I did then, but I still love being Fireproof!

One of my favorite things to do is to go to the beach and light a bonfire. It is so much fun to just sit and watch the sunset, be with friends and eventually make s'mores. The best ones are when you get about 10 pallets and light those off!

A favorite story in the Bible comes from the 1 Kings 18, Elijah vs. the prophets of Baal.

It came about at noon, that Elijah mocked them and said, "Call out with a loud voice, for he is a god; either he is occupied or gone aside, or is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and needs to be awakened."

After taunting the prophets of Baal, Elijah turns to his reliable God,

"Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that You, O LORD, are God, and that You have turned their heart back again." Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.

I love this story!

The best prayer times are those where the Fire of the Holy Spirit is invited. I remeber times in the Prayer Shack with Chad Johnson and Chase Donnely as we prayed the fire of the Holy Spirit on one another. Chase always got worked by God quickly and Chad and I would end up on the floor in Holy laughter, always a great time! I need more times like that in my life.

Finally, my favorite description of a man of God comes from Zecariah 3:2, "...is this not a brand plucked from the fire?" I love this picture! As a servant of God, I am to be burning hot and completely consumed. The only way to stay on fire is for the brand to stay in the fire.

That is where my life is. I want to be a Man on Fire, consumed with passion that expresses itself as service to my King and those around me. I want to remain hot and in order to do so, I need to abide in the original fire, the Fire of the Holy Spirit.

Sorry for the long update.

So this morning I had a job interview with Mary Bridge Childrens Hospital. The position I am applying for is like the one I had before at Tacoma General, just in the ER that specializes only in children. I thought the interview went well and the lady seemed to be impressed with my credentials and experience. I think that I will get that job, but I won't know for a few weeks because some of the administration people are on vacation. I am excited, because if I get this job, the hours will be flexible and I will be able to work whenever I can. The other upside is that I can move up to a full time or more regular schedule over time, which would be nice.

I have been working a ton of hours here at Campus Save-me and it is going pretty well for the most part. Sometimes I feel like I live here, but that is ok. The overtime will make for a nice paycheck come the middle of January.

My Christmas was good, I got to spend more time working than I did with my family, but I think that it was ok. I also do believe that I spent more money on my parents than they did on me, but again that is ok... it is the thought that counts and they both got me thoughtful gifts which I really appreciate.

You know how sometimes people will just give money if they don't know what to get you? Well, that is my Grandma in a nutshell! She hasn't tried to buy a gift for me, either birthday or Christmas for probably 6-8 years. I did the easy route this year as well, buying my family gift cards so I wouldn't have to rack my brains to find them good gifts. I think that gift cards at least show a little thought about what the person might appreciate as a gift. I actually spent some time and thought about what kind of gift cards to give my immediate family, but whatever... I will get off of the soapbox now! I did make it through the holidays emotionally intact, though there were some moments that could have been really painful, so thank you to all who were praying for me!

Spiritually... where to start. I am in an ok place that is fast becoming a great place. One of the verses I am meditating on is Psalm 19:14,

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleaseing to You, O God, my rock and my redeemer."

It is such a fun verse to sit and think about. We all know that our words are very powerful and are the key to relationships, so watching what I say is super important to me.
I have been thinking a lot about ministry and where I go next and all that stuff, but the funny thing is, I don't think God cares about any of that! My personal times with Him have been very directed at getting my heart right before Him and realigning my emotions and priorities so that He is first in everything. It has been great.

I do run the gamut of emotions sometimes, from struggling to on top of the world. I feel like I should be a little more stable in my walk, but I need to realize that I am still very young in the Lord, less than 3 years, and that I have lots of time to be the man He wants me to be. I can be very hard on myself (and others around me!) for not being as mature as I think I should be, but I am slowly learning to lighten up.

I do wish that I was doing more in ministry, I remember last Spring when we would have prayer meetings almost every night! I felt God doing so much amongst us, it was awesome! I don't have that in my life. I feel like I am living a common life, with God thrown in somewhere. When was the last time I saw a miraculous encounter with Jesus? When was the last time I layed hands on someone and prayed with them? I guess I am learning to not measure myself by what I am doing and to instead see myself in my God given identity. I am the only person who can lose that identity, God dosen't take it away, so choosing to stand up and be a son of God is soemthing I desire more of.

So, I am in an ok place that I know is becoming a great place!!!

Merry Christmas

To all my friends and readers...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Life after PLU

I am getting settled into the life after PLU, it is weird, but I will adjust. It is weird living in T-stad without people there, so quiet and un-obtrusive. It is great to be able to spend more time with Jesus, but I find that I want to watch TV instead. Don't worry, I will be good about my time with the Lord, it is too critical a time for me. Jennifer Furumasu has been very kind and gracious in allowing me to borrow her pots and pans over the break. I need to start cooking for myself, which I don't mind, but I don't have any food to cook so I need to work on that.

Jason Hulen came up to me before church and told me that the Lord had me on his heart lately. jason was telling me that he felt like I was in a transition time, which is definitely true, but that I was to seek God's heart and not the specifics of what I am to do next. I liked what he had to say... it kind of confirms some things in my heart, because he is not the first to say stuff like that to me.

I am excited for January... I hope that it will be a great time of prayer and fasting.

I am working 40 hours a week now and I will be through January at Campus Safety. The only problem is that on the January schedule I am slated for shifts from 4 am til 12 noon. I was not very happy when I saw it. I work that shift Monday - Thursday and on Friday's I work from 12 midnight to 8 am. I think I have the suckiest schedule alive and I will see what I can do to change it. Campus Safety has a problem with the guy who does scheduling because he does not seem to follow the availability of us employees. He seems to schedule us fairly whilly-nilly. I guess it won't be too bad, it will only be for 4 weeks and it is speeding up my deisre to find a new job.

Now that I am working more, I will have more time to write on the blog, so stay tuned for updates. I haven't had internet access in my room because my computer is old and slow so I haven't been able to keep up on my internet stuff.