Refining

I guess we should rejoice when we go through stuff in our lives, becasue it is Jesus trying to refine us into something that looks more like Him. The question is whether or not we are going to let Him. I have been challenged a lot lately in different settings and now I need to respond to the Lord appropriately. There are many challenges in my life and I need to know how to react to them, challenges at Ignite, PSCC and with different people in my life. I have so many questions and none of them have easy answers. Why am I in school learning biology and trying to get a good grade while at the same time an integral part of Ignite and PSCC youth and then working 12 hours a week... Why don't I have time for anything, why am I so frustrated... why do I have a full schedule and a test on Friday? Why can't I leave school and have some free time and why the heck can't I run from all these problems? Why can't I find time to spend with Jesus???

So here I sit, it is almost 7 pm, and I need to go lift, read 3 chapters of biology that I have not started for my test next Thursday, I also need to read for my testito (little test) in another biology class on Friday. There is prayer tonight at 9 pm and then I have a basketball game at 11. Tomorrow morning, I meet with Mark Wolbert at 7:30 and then with Nikki at 10. I have my Animal Behavior class from 11:50-1:35 and then guitar lessons (that I have not practiced for because I don't have the book and even though it is easy stuff, I still need to have played it before I go to my lesson) from 2:45-3:45 which leaves me just enough time to go to work at 4. I get off of work at 8 pm and then I need to get to a football meeting by 9 (I am already skipping a team goof off session from 7:30-9 ish and Man-Up Bible study). Whenever football gets done (hopefully before midnight, though Scott did promise to have us out within an hour, we'll see) I guess I can study some more and then go to bed. Get up Friday morning have breakfast with a guy that is on the football team and was around Ignite last year and I would like to be around some more and then go to class. Oh, yeah Acquire the Fire is this weekend with the PSCC youth and 30 hour famine here on campus. So I am skipping 30 hour famine (including 30 hours of prayer and all-campus worship) to go to ATF, but I did tell Mark yes first.

Do I have a right to be stressed??? And now I have wasted an hour playing on the internet and writing on this blog...

WHY CAN'T I JUST DO NOTHING EXCEPT SPEND TIME IN THE SECRET PLACE???

I need a time of refreshing,

COME HOLY SPIRIT!!!


So there is the vent and out spewed all the grossness. I guess if life was easy and I knew everything, I would not need the Lord.

I still love you all and I am not going anywhere (I like to think I am too tough for that) but life is rough right now. Jesus is refining me. It hurts, but I am willing.