Ouch...

I need to be honest here. I have been going through a lot lately, most of it relational. Some of it is good, some of it is very painful. I don't need to tell any of the details, because even though this is the internet (most private place ever) and no one reads this blog anyways, details need to be kept low key. This blog has always been intended to be a place where the people who love and care for me can read up on my life and keep up with what God is doing in my life. I hope that this leads to prayer and support for me, it is not supposed to be a place of venting or mud slinging.

I do want to dwell on some of the good things. Chase and I have been hanging out a lot and we are developing a depth of relationaship where we can really share and support each other. Yesterday, after lunch, we hung out in the room all day. I was frittering around doing anything but homework and he was studying, but the conversation continued throughout the afternoon. I really appreciated it, because we were able to share our hearts without worry. I love you Chase.

Tabitha and I go running a lot. We both think we are fat (I tell Tabitha she is crazy to think that) so we need to exercise more. I find that I can run forever, but I doin't feel like I am in really good shape. I guess that I need to do more high intensity workouts where I sprint and use bursts of speed along with the cardio that we get to do. It is one of the drawbacks of being injured, I don't get the conditioning from football anymore. I need to generate the intensity of exercise for myself, I guess that is where the power of choice that we talk about all the time at football comes in huh.

I have been thinking and praying a lot about my future. The natural first question after people find out I graduate in 6 weeks (thats correct, 6 weeks) is, "What are you going to do after graduation?" People mean well, I am sure of that, but the question gets annoying. For the record, if I graduate (I am still waiting for another financial miracle) I plan on working for Campus Safety for January term. It is a good job, 40 hours a week, free place to live etc... After January, I would like to go and work at the hospital again, like I did before I went to PLU. At the hospital, I can make good money, with lots of hours and still have time of every week. I really do want to start building a financial base for my future and start correcting some of the mistakes I have made in the past.

As far as ministry goes, I am still uncertain. I would love to go straight into full time ministry, but that is not likely. I also would like to go to some sort of ministry training, like IHOP or Bethel church have. I think that a solid time of just seperating myself out and being immersed in an environment like those two places offer would be good for me. Thos are kind of pipe dreams at the moment, but who knows what God will breathe on and bring to life. I also would be happy to go to Paramedic school and pursue a career as a paramedic, but I don' t know.

There is my heart. It hurts right now, but it is full of dreams, vision and aspirations.