What started off this whole journey back to health was the realization of how much I try and do or how hard I will work to be comfortable. Most of my relationships bring me a measure of comfort, so to change most of them in the space of one weekend (me moving to Sumner) was hard to do. I have had to challenge myself to find my comfort in the Lord, and in Him alone.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.
This verse has really been speaking to me... lots. All about how discomfort is always a gain for someone. In my particular case, the gain will be for me; I will get more out of this season of discomfort than many other seasons of my life. Discomfort always leads to comfort, because God is a merciful and loving Father who delights in His childdren and will never give them more than they can handle. I know this, but sometimes it is hard to accept.
Another facet of my heart that the Lord is unlocking right now is my hope for the future. When you are in my position, you get the priveledge of hearing people say things like, "Wow, you will look back on this in five years and laugh" or my all time favorite, "You have such a great calling and annointing to do _____!" Me in my impatience would usually smile politely and then vent to the nearest available person who understood (Emily Hockert, who is a miracle worker). What the Lord has been showing me is that I am not to despise the hope set before me.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us throw aside any encumberance and the sin which so easily entangles and let us run with endurance the race set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Jesus only did what He did here on earth so that He could enjoy an eternity with us, His bride. When I look at the discomfort around me, I don't need to complain and tell anyone who will listen that it is not fair. I don't need to go looking for things that indicate that people are against me and then show them off like I am proud of them. I can choose my attitude, even in this. I will do what I have always done with spiritual things, run.
I will run right at it. I know that God has big, no huge things in store for me, and if a little discomfort and a lot of growing is what it takes to walk in those things eventually... I will run right at it and endure, fixing my eyes on Jesus and waiting for the promises that God has given me to come about, not by my doing, but allowing Him to do it in His perfect time.
So, my prayer for myself is simple... I want to know Your love and comfort, I want to experience it at my deepest core and allow this life changing knowledge to complete me in ways I never knew were possible.
Once that happens, I won't even be able to think about comfort... it will just be.
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