I have been really grateful for the amount of free time that I have had lately... For the most part, it has been really good for me. I don't have internet or TV at my house, so many tempting distractions are not present. I have myself. Not much else. Just me, my Bible, a guitar and Jesus. Oh, sure, I will do other things, like go into Tacoma and goof off at Church, but for the most part, I am getting comfortable with being alone.
Here is the scary part. It is really good for me to be alone!
So much of the things I do are motivated out of a fear of being alone and not having people around me. This is weird, because for most of my life, I prided myself on not needing anyone else to help me...
I am realizing woundings and areas of my heart that need a touch from God and I am getting better at allowing Him in there to do the work He needs to. I am not seeing much obvious fruit from some of this, but I know that my heart is in a much better place now than it has ever been. I have more joy and peace. I stress out about stuff less and it is much easier to enjoy the presence of the Lord than it has been in quite a while.
I have also been writing songs. If you are lucky, I may share them with you, but I may keep a lid on them for a little bit and let the song seep into my spirit (also to let me perfect the songs a bit). Sometimes, a good thing can be ruined by sharing it too early with other people. Anto and I have begun the process of collaboration and I am really enjoying working with him. I just wish that I could go to Spain with him this weekend! Maybe I will go there with Janae and him in May. I need to get a Passport!!!
The curse of free time is that it means I still don't have a job. I am in the process of testing for the Pierce County Sheriff's Department, but if I had my way, I would magically be made a Paramedic and hit the streets tomorrow. I will know if I get a job with PCSD well before I finish my EMT recertification class, so I am presented with a choice. If I get offered a job with PCSD, do I take it or hold out for a possible chance at Mary Bridge and eventually (hopefully) a paramedic's job. I would start with PCSD at 22+ an hour ($50,000) a year!!! Dinner would be on me if I got a job like that!!!
I love my free time due to no job, but I would like to take this season of loan defferment and build a financial base for my future... get out of debt... save up some money for a rainy day... save up for the toys I want (Taylor, MacBook Pro, house eventually, trip to Spain...)
Oh, the pressures of life... Just Kidding! I still have a roof over my head, food in my belly (at this moment too much), gas in my truck, some money in the bank, my health, great friends, close confidants, parents who love me (may not understand me but they do love me!), a hope and a future and most importantly, a God who sees me as His beloved son... what more could a guy want!!!
Shout out to Joy for her new page! Keep up the good work and frequent posts!
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glad to hear youve been getting some good quality one on one time with God. I just finished Captivating and i really enjoyed it. One of the few books that I ever really connected with on a really personal level. My cold went from bad to worse, so now i have a big ol' frog in my throat. More like a toad I think ..lol. Hopefully it goes away by Sunday, or I'll have to just play guitar and not sing. which is cool too actually, not a biggie. but it would mean that poor jordan would have to sing the girl part. lol. Hes the only other one who can sing alot and soprano parts. hehe.
I'm hoping to save for a new guitar too, pref one without pegs at teh bottom. I've come to realize I like the ones where you just put the string through the hole and dont have to bother with silly pegs. Oh wait...a new guitar would mean a job wouldnt it. lol. i'm still job hunting tooo.
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