Walking on Water

So it has been over a month since I last posted on here. Sorry... Needless to say, a lot has happened in a month. This leads me right to the question, "What have I been doing for the last month?"

I have had friends leave, mostly good and a few bad.
I have worked jobs and am now unemployed.
I have moved into a new house and now it is infested with ants.
I have started riding a bike because gas is so expensive.
I have been writing songs and sometimes singing them.
I have come to realize that life really is a choice.

Isn't it funny how we pray sometimes and ask the Lord for things, and we are thunderstruck when he actually does what we asked? I remember specifically asking the Lord to bring to a place of Faith where if I don't hear correctly from Him, then I will not make it. Isn't it funny how He answers prayer. Now I find myself unemployed, and not sure what to make of life. If you want the whole story of my job woes, you can call me... it doesn't seem right to post it all here. I have rent, student loans, credit cards, medical bills from last falls neck injury and it seems like a thousand other little expenses. I know that the Lord is asking me to be faithful in my finances, AMEN!!! I love tithing and giving to the Lord, the only hindrance has been my laziness. But in this season of unemployment, this feels a bit different.

If we look at the story of Peter walking on water in Matthew 14:25-32 I think that is kind of where I am at right now. In the middle of a storm, in the middle of the night (in the midst of all my problems) Jesus is walking toward me.

I imagine the scene was something to behold, 12 guys straining at oars trying to keep a boat afloat and make it to the other side. All of a sudden, they see this guy walking on water toward them. All the other guys in the boat were saying things like...

"Dude, I think that's Jesus!"
"Yeah, it kind of looks like Him."
"Wait, how is He walking on water?"
"It must be His ghost!"

But not Peter. Peter may have doubted that it was Jesus, so he tries to convince his buddies that it is not Jesus, "Lord, if it's You, tell me to come out there." Peter didn't think that this God of Love would tell him to get out of a boat in the middle of a storm in the middle of the night and risk his life. Of course it was Jesus, so Peter ends up having to leave the boat and walk (on water) towards Jesus. Peter was wrong, this God of Love did call him to risk his life and step out of the boat and watch as He blew away his expectations of who God is.

The miracle here would have been for Peter to survive swimming in the lake in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm. I think that was what Peter was expecting to do, to swim out to Jesus trusting that the Son of God wouldn't let him drown. That was probably a big step for Peter, trusting that God wouldn't fail him, but Peter still wanted God to meet him in his own strength. Peter was a good swimmer, he had been raised on the water and made his living as a fisherman, so swimming was second only to walking. By swimming, Peter is compromising a little, God can use me, as long as he uses my strengths. Peter probably could have made it to Jesus by swimming, strong fisherman that he was, but that is not what Jesus wanted. So in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm, Peter finds himself walking on water, something that he never could have dreamed of.

I think that Jesus illustrates how when we step out of our boat, we shouldn't be surprised when the miracle we get turns out to be different than the one we were looking for. Peter thought that he was going to swim and meet Jesus, using his strength and God's help. All of a sudden, he is walking on water going toward the one "who treads upon the waves of the sea" (Job 9:8) What a difference, relying on God's strength and not our own.

After all this, to apply it to my situation... I am facing a storm. I love what one of the commentaries that I read said about this passage
"Though the wind was contrary, and they were tossed with waves, yet being ordered by their Master to the other side, they did not tack about and come back again, but made the best of their way forward. Note, Though troubles and difficulties may disturb us in our duty, they must not drive us from it; but through the midst of them we must press forwards."
The disciples had been directed by Jesus to go out into the lake, and they had even been given a direction, but then they ran into a storm. God told me and directed me to work in the jobs that I had, and now I find myself without them. I am not questioning God, I am looking forward to what He is going to do to replace them. God gives and takes away. AMEN!!!

I have a funny feeling that there is something that God is freeing me up to be able to do here shortly. I have no idea what it is and every time I try to speculate, I get the Holy Spirit telling me not to try and guess. So here I am, at that place of faith where if I don't hear and follow God correctly, I may drown... no matter how strong a swimmer I am.