I have been on a very interesting journey that last few weeks. From the high of Go Camp and the amazing things that God did there to the valley of daily going to work and being faithful to a new job. I have learned a ton about myself in the process and I have also seen the faithfulness of God in the midst of it all, even though I choose to ignore it sometimes.
Go Camp could be an entire post all to itself, but some of the highlights… We had salvations, healings, baptisms in the Holy Spirit, outreaching to a hurting community, challenges from Jesus, life direction and calling, amazing teaching and personal ministry time. God had a specific plan for my week there. One of the areas I lacked in my childhood development was a chance to be a little kid and nothing else. I was pushed to grow up by my parents and I came to take this on myself. Those of you who know me well will recognize the overachiever complex in me that stems from this, I always have to do well, be the best and rise to the top. God wanted to teach me about being a little kid so He had me in charge of all the children 5th grade and under.
I learned so much from these kids, seeing them interact and play and grow. They would just run up to me and want me to pick them up and hold them, they wanted to sit next to me, help me teach the lesson or just be near me. The Lord began to teach me about how to be a kid through this, how to run up to Him, knowing that He delights in holding me, playing with me and that He is happy with me. I taught me a lot about the things that I do, how pitiful they are in the actual value of the kingdom, but how much He values them.
Coming out of Go Camp, I started house sitting and I also started working shifts in the ER again. I enjoyed both, but it became hard as well. I worked 10 out of 11 days, half of those days were 12 hour shifts and the rest were 8 hours from 11 pm to 7 am. I am coming to the realization that I am not working at TG for the patients sake, even though that is what I am paid to do. My real reason for being there is for the staff that I get to work with and the challenge of being there for them in the midst of their life. It is a hard environment to be a Christian in, not because the people are hostile, if anything they are very accepting of my Christian faith and my personal relationship with Jesus. What is hard is the mindset that they can handle their life and that anything goes as long as it works for you. The lines between right and wrong get blurred very easily and moral relativism is the name of the game. I get to live counter to that, as a man committed to the truth and the reality that there is an absolutely right way and anything else is wrong.
I have had many wonderful conversations with people asking me what I want to do with my biology degree and I get to tell them that I want to be a pastor. “Oh…” is the response I usually get along with a shifting of eyes and I can tell that they are instantly looking at there life and seeing if it measures up. It is the Holy Spirit bringing conviction of sin, not me and I am working hard to let people know that I love them for who they are, not what they do. One nurse told me laughingly that she wasn’t going to change her ways and I told I don’t want you to! I want to love these people and let Jesus be responsible for the change in their life, not me. Please encourage and challenge me toward prayer for the people I work with.
God is growing me and challenging me toward greatness. You all know that one of my passions is a dislike of mediocrity. I don’t want my life to be mediocre and most of all I don’t want my faith to be mediocre. If my life and faith are mediocre, then my Jesus is mediocre and that is something I cannot stand for. He challenged me out of the Word today,
“Song of Solomon 2:12 'The flowers have already appeared in the land; the time has arrived for pruning the vines,”
It is about my heart and how there has been fruit growing there, but it is time for pruning so that more fruit can grow… Amen! Let us all look to our hearts and allow the Lord to prune so that more fruit can grow.
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