I have come to a few big revelations about myself... If life is like a house, then I have found out that my house has a crack in the foundation. I have been shoring it up with different things in order for my life to function normally, but that is no longer good enough. The Lord has put His finger on the problem and He wants to fix it.
The issue is not small. In fact in comparison to all the other work God has done in my heart, this one is deepest of all. So bear with me as I go through this journey and allow the healing that is so necessary to come and bring me some freedom. I wish that I had more time to invest in the Word, in prayer and in just being with Jesus.
My job is great, I like my work and I know that I am making a difference in peoples lives. I may not be seeing the great fruit right now, but I know that the investment will be well worth it. The people that I work with, most of them do not know Jesus so my relationship with Him is a foreign thing to the ER. I hope that they can see how I am consistent in my treatment of people and situations and see Jesus in that. I have been able to be very open about my faith with people and how I want to pastor someday, so people know where I stand. It is hard to have deep conversations with people in the ER, so my prayer is for those conversations to happen and life to be shared.
There was a person in the ER the other night that was not quite right. They began to fight with us and we were forced to restrain this patient for their safety and ours. After we had them restrained, I put my hand on their arm and started to pray in the Spirit. They looked at me with clarity and said, "I'm not ready to go." I was pretty sure where this was going, but I had to make a fool of myself more, so I asked where they were not ready to go to. They said, "I'm not ready to go to hell."
What do you say to that? I wanted so desperately to stop everything and tell them about Jesus and how He can set them free, but can I do that at work? I would love to tell you that this person accepted Christ, broke the power of addiction in their life and will be at Church this weekend, but honestly I didn't get to say another word to them before I went home that morning.
There is a world that is hurting and I want to help. Please pray for me, because in the middle of the remodel God is doing in my heart, I still have a calling and mission to accomplish at work.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
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1 comment:
sounds like you've indeed had your hands full recently, literally and metaphorically. Just keep trusting God to accomplish what he needs to within you, and that it will eventually manifest itself through your efforts to let Him move through you and the work you do. I think one of the hardest things in life is not only recognizing your calling,but then acting on it, while your flesh screams for you to do otherwise because its not convenient and it might involve growing pains.
one of my fave verses from the new hllsong album goes something like "Spirit now living and dwelling within me, keep my eyes fixed ever on jesus's face. let not the things of this world ever sway me, i'll run til i finish the race"
I'll try and call soon since its been awhile and itd be nice to catch up, but we're both pretty busy so that may have to happen later than sooner. take care and keep your chin up k?
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